With this ring I thee....shut up.

It's fair to say that little girls usually have their wedding day entirely planned and color coordinated by the time they turn 8 years old. They play dress up with ridiculously large costume jewelry and invite all of their teddy bear friends to witness their imaginary vow ceremony. I was not one of these little girls. 

Growing up with boys, I didn't have the traditional little girl upbringing. Anytime I wanted to play with barbies there were typically hotwheel cars involved, sometimes at my preference. On top of my somewhat tomboy childhood, I am also terrified of plans. I can't stick to plans, I can't plan things and the thought of a planned out function traumatizes me. (Yet I work in an industry packed full of appearances, baffling.) So when it comes to wedding planning, this is something I only wish that I can someday never be a part of. The reality show Bridezillas is what I would watch at bedtime if I wanted to have nightmares for the next two weeks. Those who know me are well aware of my dire need for spontaneous action.  

The majority of women in my life love weddings. I have met girls who have picked out their save-the-dates one year into a relationship and others who have jumped right on board the wedding planning train immediately after the second date. One time, I had an engagement scare of my own and my business partner had my entire wedding planned in fifteen minutes flat. The flowers, the color-scheme, the location, you name it, she pinned it. (Might I add that I had no say or preference in this matter) Fortunately, I wised up and ended that relationship before I ended up in a boho vintage wedding gown wondering what went wrong in my life.

This leads me to the situation I am currently in. My company is launching a wedding branch, and not only that, but releasing a wedding-themed magazine issue this spring. (Did I just wake up in hell?) As a co-owner, I have agreed to edit and coordinate all incoming content. However, I want no role in coordinating wedding things with wedding people and smelling flowers. As I'm suffering from acute anxiety over this 'wedding department', my coworkers seem to be enjoying themselves so I suppose that's all that matters. 

Keep Your Save-The-Dates Away From Me

Please do not mistake my distaste for the whole wedding thing as an opposition to marriage. I'm all for marriage, someday, possibly, if I can find someone willing to put up with my crap. I just believe that marriage should be simple, between two people and there is no need for excessive decor, a gay male wedding planner, third cousins from out of state and two dresses. If ever some brave soul is to marry me, please note that I want no parts in this wedding. The marriage yes, the wedding no. I do not want to run around like a psycho for a year and smell flowers, trying cakes, pick out dresses, blah blah blah. If you ask me to plan my own wedding, I will probably end up like this broad:

Also, I will probably only attend your wedding for the wine and overall support. But, I'll bring a gift.

xo, Charissa Explains It All

Charissa Explains It All: Part 2 (Three Years Later)

Hello Blogspot world. After a three-year-stretch of not explaining it all, I'm back. Not to worry, these postings are not for your amusement but merely my own. Since we left off in 2011 (mind you it is 2014 now), I continued to work heavily and unfortunately became more recognizable until I eventually ventured off into life in the fast lane: aka entrepreneurship.

I still work in journalism but now to add the cherry to the cake, I own a Public Relations firm too. How fun right? It actually is fun. I love my work. However, I work with dozens of people each day and manage hundreds of tasks, therefore I have to laugh to accept the mere indecency of human beings on the reg. Because I find my life and work so amusing I feel it's time to jot these incidents down for the future Charissa Lauren to read.

In this mine field of events, fashion, business and publicity, things get a little weird around here. Sometimes people touch my face, sometimes NBC calls and occasionally we have to spend an afternoon figuring out how to translate a Japanese e-mail. Nevertheless, there is never a dull moment. Enjoy my rants. I'm sure we will all soon understand why I drink wine.

xo, Charissa Explains It All