Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of partying. I've just chosen to do it in a more sophisticated, professional manner. (thinking back......haha, sure.) I've started pondering how things might have been different had I chosen to live a normal college campus life. When it comes to the college lifestyle and trends, I am totally confused. I've created a list of a few what-if scenarios.
What if I was a college girl and......
A.) You offered me a Four Loko. Just to make things clear, I have never had a Four Loko in my entire life and don't intend to. In fact, I just googled Four Loko and you have to at least be 21 years old to even look at the SITE! Are you people freaking insane? Isn't this drink beer, mixed with liquor, mixed with energy drink? Sounds disgusting to me. It also sounds cheap. Even during high school parties when everyone else was sipping on Natty Lights, I was enjoying a glass of Pinot Grigio. Please, I'm a woman of class, just give me a cosmo, a shot of tequila, and maybe a slice of pizza later on and I'm set for the night.
B.) Ben Roethlisberger Pulls His Pants Down In Front Of Me. This is a rare opportunity that not all women can say they've experienced. But if this opportunity approached me, I'm not saying I would deny it, given the situation. I'm underage, at a college bar, in my little hometown of Milledgeville, Georgia and hunky famous quarterback walks in. Two thoughts run through my mind: 1.) This is a great story to tell my grandchildren and 2.) I hope he has a condom. However, as a woman of class, a worn down bathroom stall isn't going to cut it, take me to a pretty hotel. There's a fine line between rape, and living it up. (Whattt?!?) I love you Ben. Let's go Stillers!
C.) I Am Asked To Join A Sorority. Wtf is a sorority anyway? Are you asking me if I want to live in a house full of bitchy, slutty, pms-ing women for years during my college life? In that case, the answer is no. I would rather chug bleach. But to be fair I would thoroughly consider it. It may be a great Resume builder. I am an active member in my community and take part in several charities, so that's a plus. Sorostitutes, I mean Sororities are really big on giving back. Forget it. I said the same thing about girl scouts, the answer is no.
(I tried to find a great image for this section, but every time I googled "sorority" porn came up!! How odd.)
D.) I Was Forced To Live In a Disgusting Dorm. I visited a friend in his disgusting frat house once. As expected, he lived with 5 other guys. The environment he lived in was post nuclear. Garbage was piled throughout the house, pizza that looked like it had been weeks old was sitting on the counter, and the place reeked of old beer. That's really cool and all, but I couldn't do it. I prefer my clean, quiet apartment. Plus, there is much less of a chance of catching AIDS in my apartment.
Anyway, I suppose I did miss out on a few opportunities. But I did give the lifestyle a chance! I went to one "frat" party at age 18. During the party, every single guest ended up drenched in beer, and I spent the majority of my evening hiding in the closet with my best friend, from the police. From that point on, I learned that it simply wasn't the lifestyle I wanted to pursue.
I have no regrets. For me, college was a bit different. I was very focused on getting honor roll, and getting out! And I did so with many more interesting stories. I traveled to Paris. I met Tom cruise. So on, and so forth. And all of this was done free of four loko and embarrassing pictures! haha.
Xoxo,
Charissa Explains It All ;)
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