Don't Drink And Farm. (creepy craigslist)

Sometimes when my best friend and I are bored we like to make fun of craigslist ads. I'm not sure why or how we've come up with this hobby. But nevertheless, it is entertaining. A while back, we came across a post from a man...looking for a woman. He explained in his ad that he had lost his penis in a "rare farming incident" and that he is looking for a relationship based on more than just sex, (Who isn't?!) given that he can no longer perform. Shit happens I suppose. By the way, I lost my vagina in a rare skydiving incident. That's right, my entire vagina flew off. I have no idea where it went. Last I heard it was somewhere in Tennessee.

Anyway, after almost dying of laughter, my initial reaction was "wow, really??! poor guy" leading to...."What the hell kind of farming incident resulted in the loss of your penis?"  Did a horse eat your penis? Did a tractor run you over? Gentlemen, please be safe while farming. Don't drink and farm. 


This very ad is what led me to craigslist for amusement. I only hope that it amuses you as much as me! Here are a few of my current favorites: (People are like, weird.)

1.) Tired of husbands who won't do anything for you anymore? Tired of sticking to your ridiculous vows?
Husbands are lame and you know it. Stop being so damn ridiculous and have some fun. Oh, and if you are single, you should hit me up too. (I give this one points for creativity, great attention grabber!) 


2.) Looking for an Asian Woman Experienced in Massage-65-Pittsburgh. (I don't know of one man in the world that ISN'T looking for an Asian woman. But dude, you're 65, you should just give up.) 


3.) Are you considered a slut??-43-New York- I am real, this ad is 100% real. Are you considered a slut? I want a LTR and maybe eventual marriage with you. I don't want to change you, i want you just the way you are. Want to remain the way you are but wish you had an understanding man to love you. Im here. Send me a pic and put "slut" in subject. I will answer all real ads so what do you have to lose? (See sluts, there are men out there who will love you! Violins.) 


4.) This Santa is not looking for Milk and cookies! This Santa is looking for naughty woman to host and provide him with a BJ...in return Santa will leave nice gift$ Please share info age, part of city, married/ single, when available and picture.....Santa is looking to hear from you soon....with the right woman this could be Xmas weekly.....please put BJ in subject line..... (Um?! I don't know about you Santa but I get "$$$" for Christmas without passing out "BJ's")


5.) I Just Want A Hand Job-Male-49-Pittsburgh (Props for Honesty)


6.) Foot Bitch.-Male-26-Pittsburgh-About me: I am a college educated, normal, sane guy. I am 145lbs, thin-ave build, white guy. I have a good, professional job, and I enjoy what I do. I am basically looking for a woman who wants her feet kissed, massaged and worshiped. I will lick your feet and sensually suck on your toes. I give very relaxing foot massages. You can treat me like your servant boy. I want to spoil you and obey you. I am a real person. It's getting close to Christmas and the Steelers take on the 49rs on Monday. Please put "Serve Me!" in the subject line so I know you are real. (Craigslist is definitely the place to meet foot bitches) 


Ladies if you must search for a man on craigslist, please be careful! You might end up with this...

Or this....

Or in some cases, this....

I love all of you psychos, have a GREAT Tuesday! 


Xoxo, 


charissa explains it all.


Am I going to get in trouble for this???